Scarface

“What you lookin’ at? You all a bunch of fuckin’ assholes. You know why? You don’t have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin’ fingers and say, “That’s the bad guy.” So… what that make you? Good? You’re not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don’t have that problem“.

Tony Montano

You are sitting at the bar and a woman strikes up a conversation. “Hi, how are you? What are you doing for a living?”. Do you tell her you are running an escort service or not? To be or not to be? Idem but this time your mother asks you what your new activity you have been talking of a lot lately consists of?

Also in the 21st century, although is it completely legal in Germany, prostitution is a service which exists but apparently nobody uses. There is still a taboo and most people are very disparaging and judgmental. Even or especially if they are clueless about the subject. It goes without saying that walking the cold, dark streets at night and servicing johns in a car for 30 Euros a pop is hardly my idea of fun. In the upper echelons of the profession though, for women who are made for it, the benefits can be rewarding. I am not talking about the women at Daphne´s since they only escort on the side and are hence not loaded.

“Well, you would, wouldn´t you”, I hear you saying. Ok, let´s look at the phenomenon from different angles. High-class prostitution offers women the possibility to earn good money whilst working flexible, short hours. Frequently, they get pampered by interesting men in nice hotels in Berlin who put them on pedestals, which is beneficial to their self-esteem. I have known some working girls who go on extended breaks once they have some money on the side. Which other profession allows that? On the downside, contrary to what you might think, the danger of STD´s or violent clients is negligible.

As mentioned before, managing an escort agency is legal in Germany, which has as a consequence that more and more “respectable” people decide to try their luck. Tax-wise, also the state takes it share of course. Daphne´s pays only 7% VAT since the girls are considered Berlin artists whereas the normal rate is 19% VAT. On a serious note, some countries forbid prostitution; others tolerate or legalize the activity. In different times, the statute has often changed. All that just to show that it is impossible for moralists to claim the high ground.

Let´s get back to Tony Montano. According to me, the main issue escorts encounter is that prostitution is not socially accepted.  Society forces you to lie to your parents, your family, your co-workers in your regular job etc… about your hidden life. You just have no choice, especially if you are a mother and don´t want your children to be teased at school. That´s at least how most people in the business see it. I personally find people who enter the world of paid-sex brave and strong. You have to be very open and a free-thinker in order to make the first step and contact an escort agency in order to apply for a job. You have to be even stronger to stay the course if friends find out and try to talk you out of it. So hail the brave women. Down with the hypocrites who look down on prostitutes but use their services. Thanks Germany for being pragmatic.

Lombroso and his sex workers

Prostitution has and always will fascinate people. The number of artists who have been inspired by courtesans is endless. Among the most famous, you can count Toulouse-Lautrec and Picasso. I often avoid telling people I meet for the first time that I am running an escort service in Berlin with a partner, otherwise I have to spend the best part of an hour talking about the relax industry. People think that harlots differ a lot from the average woman. Last time I checked our escorts, they all still had two arms and two legs and if you were to pass them in the street, you would never have thought that they were on the game.

In the 19th century though, we had the Italian Cesare Lombroso who thought otherwise. Apparently not only artists took a particular interest in fallen women. He was convinced that they had certain physiognomic properties. His research took him to police stations, prisons, and madhouses. There he studied the tattoos, cranial capacities, and sexual behaviour of prostitutes and prisoners in order to establish a female criminal type. Does it surprise you that Lombroso came to the conclusion that that criminal women are far more cunning and dangerous than criminal men…

I would lie though if I were to pretend that there is hardly a difference between women who turn tricks and good housewives, although you would be surprised by the number of mothers who have a little secret. Even their partners sometimes don´t know that hidden part of their personality. I don´t know what the old fraud Freud would have made of that? Would he still have come up with his madonna-whore complex? I have to admit though that tattoos and piercings are overrepresented in prostitutes. Some also have a tendency to dress provocatively and have a penchant for loud labels but what really makes the difference is their mind.

I know that this is a truism but that organ really distinguishes the pros from the amateurs. Forget about a high libido, sex-craved nymphos and fornicating erotomanes. As far as I am aware of, prostitution, contrary to homosexuality, never got an entry in the American psychiatric bible DSM.

According to my non-scientific opinion, sex workers have an open mind, like sex and don´t fall easily in love. They are impulsive and like to experiment. Mentally, they have to be tough in order to demarcate their boundaries and master the strong emotions the job provokes. Some do have indeed a low-self-esteem which they try to compensate by being paid for sex. This validates their worth and puts them on a pedestal. This doesn’t mean though that they all suffer from major psycholigical disorders.